 |
|
Sluggers Game Summary
Playoffs
September 7
Champions
Sluggers dominate Capitalist Pigs 10-2 for first championship
--BOSTON, September 15, 2004
The curse of the 10-cent wing is broken. After seven years of thirst, the Sluggers finally taste the sweet nectar of victory at the close of their eighth season.
The first five innings were more one-sided than a one-legged llama. The Sluggers scored six times in the first inning. It all started with Ben "I Flew How Many Miles to Go 0 for 2 With a Walk?" Hardigg's leadoff walk. Ted "Ballgame" Johnson followed with his first of three hits. Will "The Natural" Jamieson took the hint and hit a three-run home run, which was the most offense this game would see in any one spurt. Other than that, it was all pitching and defense.
"BW [Brian "Wightman Can't Jump"] dominated a very talented Fidelity lineup, forcing them to hit the ball right at the perfectly positioned Slugger defense," said first year Sluggers coach, Ted "Ballgame" Johnson during his post-game ukulele lesson. "This was easily the tightest team defensive performance of the year."
There were just two sad notes on this otherwise fantastic evening. First, Craig "Trump Card" Trumm, one of only three original players on this year's roster, wasn't able to make this game due to a personal situation. "Trump Card is one of the few players who can really appreciate this win for all that this team has been through over the past eight years," Tony "Skip" Vinciguerra said during his post-game haircut.
Want to see photos of this momentous occasion? Click and you shall receive.
Offensive Play of the Game
With no outs in the bottom of the first inning, the Sluggers drew first blood on Will "The Natural" Jamieson's three-run shot that gave the Sluggers all the offense they would need to win their first championship trophy.
Defensive Play of the Game
With two outs and one runner on in the top of the third inning, "Blue Shorts, Grey T-Shirt" (as the official scorer called him) hit a scorching worm burner to second baseman Adam "South Paw" Seidman, who made a showy flip to short stop Ben "Kenobi" Hardigg to end the inning.
Honorable Mention
Will "The Natural" Jamieson looked at home in left field again as he made a long running catch in the middle of a munchkin soccer match for the first out of the second inning. Several of his teammates yelled from the bench, "Why didn't you dive?"
Stats from the Maniacal One
Here are this week’s off-beat
stats from the Maniacal One:
- Se7en: Fidelity left seven runners
on base; the Sluggers left six players hanging.
- The Disorderly Orderly: The Capitalist Pigs were
set down in order in the second and fourth innings, the Sluggers went 1-2-3 in the second and sixth innings.
- One on One: This postseason marks the first in which the Sluggers did not go "one and done." It is the only postseason game they've won.
- Love at First Bite: This season is the first of their eight seasons in which the Sluggers have finished in first place.
- Over the Top: The Sluggers remained at the top of the standings for the entire season, starting the season 9-0 and finishing 9-3.
Perfect Champions
The following Sluggers batted 1.000 on the day:
Playoff MVP
Brian "Wightman Can't Jump" was a shoe-in for Playoff MVP honors given his pitching performance in this, the game of his life. See his pitching stats below.
See Wightman's Player of the Week stats here.
Season MVPs
Battery mates, Whitney "The Litany" Brown and Brian "Wightman Can't Jump" were named co-MVPs for this historic Sluggers season. "I'm glad the Awards Committee didn't give this award to just me. I couldn't have done it alone. Whit calls a good game back there," Wightman said during the post-game celebration. "We've gotten into a good groove over the season, Whit and I."
"Wighty pitches smart," Brown told reporters. "He just throws what I tell him to throw, and that's smart."
Injury Report
Noah "n$" Cushing (shoulder) was unable to suit up for tonight's contest due to pain in his non-pitching shoulder. Cushing denies that the pain is caused by the new tattoo he received on that shoulder.
The
Rumor Mill
Vicious rumors are flying regarding the future of free-agent utility player Steve "Wheels" Baer. One rumor has Baer spending the next four years touring several war torn countries where he will teach up-and-coming guerrillas to disassemble and reassemble AK-47s while blindfolded on his way to world domination.
Quotes of the Week
- "He Super Glues it every morning."--Ben "Kenobi" Hardigg, Sluggers short stop, explaining Lach "Ness Monster" McLean's morning foot care ritual
- "C'mon guys. Why do you have to move in so far? She hit it over the outfielders' heads her last at-bat."--"Gray Shorts/Pitcher" (as the official scorer called him), Fidelity pitcher complaining to his fielders' positioning for Whitney "The Litany" Brown
- "Stan, nice throw to right field."--Ted "Ballgame" Johnson, Sluggers coach, razzing his third baseman for making a poor throw to second base in the seventh inning
- "Brian was amazing."--Whitney "The Litany" Brown, Sluggers catcher, giving her opinion of her battery mate's performance
- "That sounds like the ending to a bad date."--Noah "n$" Cushing, Sluggers utility player, commenting on Whit's comment
- "I think I jumped the shark with my softball skills."--Steve "Wheels" Baer, Sluggers right fielder, feeling down about his 2-2 with two RBI performance
- "Congratulations."--"Gray BAC T-Shirt" (as the official scorer called him), Fidelity DH, giving props to the Sluggers after the game
- "She licked the trophy."--Dan "Dinger" Landesman, soon to be former Sluggers center fielder, making friends at the Red Hat
- "We're the '97 Marlins. We win it all and then disband."--Ted "Ballgame" Johnson, Sluggers coach, during the post-game photo shoot referring to all of the players that are not returning next season
Next Season
Spring training starts Tuesday, April 5th, 2005. Come see the championship ring presentation. Any fan wearing
an eye patch that reads "2005: Year of the Sluggers Dynasty" gets a free beer at the Red Hat. In the meantime,
check out the trophy.
Batting Summary
| Linescore | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | | R | H | E | | Fidelity |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
1 | 1 | |
2 |
8 |
1 | | Sluggers |
6 |
0 |
3 |
1 |
0 |
0 | x | |
10 |
15 |
1 |
Pitching Summary
|
Sluggers
